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Judging a Book by its Cover

Everyone judges books by their covers

We’ve all heard the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” While that certainly sounds like great advice, the reality is that most people don’t follow it. Perhaps “Do as I say, not as I do” is more realistic.

In reality, the way you dress, walk, stand, carry yourself, and everything else about your appearance and your actions are being watched by those around you. They might not even realize they’re doing it, but people are watching and forming impressions all the time.

This is especially true for first impressions. According to the American Psychological Association, “substantial research has affirmed the importance of first impressions” and that “the impressions you make can have a real impact on your academic and professional success.”

Not only do people form impressions about nearly everyone they interact with, they then assign meaning to those impressions. For instance, if they get the impression that someone is nervous based on their body language or how they speak, they might take this to mean that the person is hiding something or that they’re untrustworthy. They then start to build a profile of the person in their mind.

It’s a situation that psychologists call “fundamental attribution error.” In short, when we see someone do something, we tend to believe that whatever they’re doing is related to their personality, not the situation they’re in. So, the person who looks nervous becomes a “nervous person” who has something to hide, rather than someone who is usually quite calm, but is reacting nervously because they’re in an unfamiliar situation.

Once a profile like this is established in someone’s mind, it’s hard to break. And what’s even scarier is that people don’t keep those judgments to themselves; they tell others how they perceive you.

They’ll say they just met with someone who was really nervous and untrustworthy and that they have a bad feeling about them. Then that person tells someone else and they tell someone else and that’s how even a small first impression can result in a person getting a negative reputation. 

So, pay attention to how you carry yourself, the words you choose, and how you interact with everyone while you’re building rapport with them. Even if you’re dealing with someone who you don’t think is relevant to your life and you’ll never see again, the profile they’re forming of you could spread to others and give you a reputation you don’t want or deserve. 

The answer to the question, “What matters?” is always “Everything” and the answer to the question of “Who matters?” is always “Everyone.” This is how you build a strong rapport with people. 

Think about how you come across at all times, especially when you’re interacting with people who likely haven’t formed an opinion about you yet. It’s a crucial part of personal branding and sales. Don’t forget about others who may be watching. Adopt positive, welcoming body language. By doing so, you’ll create a good first impression, start creating a positive reputation and increase your chances of building a good rapport with someone.

Learn the techniques you need to project a positive image and make a strong impression with The Martinelli Sales Method. Get started today!

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